When I didn’t get into Stanford, I thought my life was over. The dream I had worked so hard to achieve for years disappeared in an instant. It felt like my entire identity revolved around going to a prestigious school. Without that, who was I? What was the point of all the hard work I put in throughout my life? At the end of the application cycle, I had gotten into 5 of the 18 schools I applied to, none of which I had really seen myself going to. There were neither Ivy League acceptances nor University of California acceptances, and my acceptance into UF hinged on doing online classes for my entire first year through their PACE program.
This past week, I was a mentor for the National Voices for Equality Education and Enlightenment’s (NVEEE) Peace Ambassador Leadership Summit (PALS) at University of Central Florida, where students come for a week-long program that empowers them to become leaders and develop employable skills, as well as getting college preparation and advice. Being in the room with them during workshops, I noticed that these students were feeling the same angst I was when I was in their shoes. Whenever the topic of college was brought up, suddenly everyone was at attention and on edge. They all wanted to know the tips and tricks to getting into a ‘good’ school, and what they could possibly do to set themselves apart. Listening to them, it was clear that a lot of stress surrounded these questions. It broke my heart seeing these bright students feel diminished when thinking about college applications. I felt that pain 13 different times, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
Los Angeles' Higher Education Research Institute found that less than 57% percent of this year's freshmen are attending their first-choice schools.
Getting into your dream college can be very difficult. Gone are the days when a high GPA and strong SAT score would get you into any school you wanted. It sometimes seems like the only way to get in is to have the perfect trauma story or a project that changed the lives of thousands of people. In reality, there are just so many more people applying to college these days. In the 2024-2025 application cycle, Common App reported a 6% increase in applications from the previous year. Not only that, but the trend of ‘New Ivies’ cropping up across public universities in the south has made getting into these schools more difficult than ever before, with huge increases in out of state applicants. This list includes the University of Florida, a common dream for high schoolers throughout the state.
One aspect of PALS that makes it such a unique program is the open discussion that happens in the middle of the week. In a therapeutic setting, all the students and counselors sit in a circle and discuss things that they would normally keep to themselves. One story in particular will stay with me for a long time. A bright student, one who had been amazing at keeping up morale and a positive attitude throughout the summit, began telling us how their rejection from UF had destroyed their confidence. They shared that all they wanted was to get in so that they wouldn’t be a disappointment to their parents. Upon receiving the news of their rejection, they had to witness their parents put on a fake cheery attitude in front of them, and then proceed to go to the bathroom to cry. In the silence at the end of their story, you could practically hear everyone’s heart break.
The culture around getting into college has become stifling. To these kids, it feels like the entire trajectory of their lives revolves around getting into one of these schools, whether it be UF or Harvard. The pressure isn’t only coming from within; everywhere students look, from their parents to their own teachers, they are being shown that it is imperative for them to get into the best college possible. It is well known that high schoolers are noting higher levels of anxiety than ever before–but it is another thing entirely to witness it. During the college prep day of the summit, I sat on a college panel with 3 other current college students to answer questions the students had regarding college. The energy in the room was palpable. These kids really wanted to know what they could possibly do to get into the schools they wanted, it was practically bursting out of them. I gave what advice I could, but what I really wanted to impart was bigger than any extra clubs they could join to give them an edge.
What really matters when you graduate college isn’t the name of the school on the degree – it’s all the learning and experience and growth that happens while you’re there. Neil DeGrasse Tyson put it best: what college really teaches you is how to think and be a productive member of society.
If I could go back and talk to my younger self, these are the 5 things I hope she would take to heart:
- The school you get into does not define you!
- Focus on extra-curriculars that you actually enjoy – not ones that you think will look best on an application.
- Don't immediately send in supplementals and essays. Sit with your answers and make sure they convey the message you want.
- Be present. The future is exciting and scary, but where you are right now is just as important. Try and enjoy yourself!
- You get out of your college experience what you put into it, so make the most out of every opportunity.
I currently attend Northeastern University London, and it has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. Not that this is an ad for studying abroad–though I do believe everyone should do it– but rather an example that it is sometimes the most unexpected opportunities that end up changing your life. Looking back, I think if I had gotten into an Ivy League, I would have been miserable. The pressure and high expectations that surround it would have been suffocating. Sometimes, what you really want is not actually what is best for you. And most of all, that none of it would have happened without all of those rejections.
About NVEEE
National Voices for Equality, Education, and Enlightenment (NVEEE) is a congressionally recognized nonprofit empowering youth to become resilient, socially responsible leaders through direct service, leadership development, mentoring, and prevention education. Our mission is to empower the next generation of leaders to build a society where inclusion, equity, and empathy are at the forefront—creating spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
You can learn more about NVEEE and our mission, programs, and opportunities to get involved by visiting our website.
About the Author
Sarah Schulman is an NVEEE intern on the Marketing and Communications committee. She is currently pursuing her bachelor's degree in Computer Science and Philosophy at Northeastern University London. Most days, you can find her reading or listening to her favorite albums on repeat.